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Monster Raving Plaque

Well, it’s about bloody time. They give out blue plaques like Smarties to complete arses – General Pooh-Bah or Lord Lardy-Butt or Miss Airy-Fairy Poet-Bird of Bloomsbury but you don’t often see them being given out to people that really deserve them.

David ‘Screaming Lord’ Sutch was the Renaissance Man of Rock & Roll. People think he was some loser, always dressing up in coffins and skeleton outfits and stuff, but I’m telling you he might have played the clown but he knew what he was doing and what he stood for which is more than most of them buffoons in Parliament do.

So anyway, me and Brando Brian went over to the Ace Caff on Sunday to see the blue plaque being unveiled to His Screamship by the Mayor of Brent, who’s clearly hoping for one of his own one of these days by looking down and cool with the hip people.

It was bogging it down worse than that night at the Balajo in Paris and I’d agreed to go with Brian on the back of his vintage Triumph, ha bloody ha, but at least the fry-up at the end was worth it. More about that later.

The Ace is a weird old place at the best of times – half rockin’ geezers, half bikers, but with the Monster Raving Loonies there too it was like some nuthouse. A brilliant nuthouse with people who really get it. There was blokes from Lord Sutch’s old backing group and even Jess Conrad.

Edwardian Vic was up there on the stand of course with all the Ace movers and shakers, showing off about how ‘Dave’ was his best mate and how he and ‘Dave’ got the Ace re-opened – by the time Vic’s done he’ll have saved the caff single-handed with a teensy-weensy bit of help from ‘Dave’. No one minds though – I mean in a room full of fuckin’ characters, Vic’s the one who stands out as being unusual. He’s a good bloke. ‘Sides – you never want to mess with teds – them quiffs could have someone’s eye out.

I was very pleased with this picture of Alan ‘Howlin’ Lord’ Hope who besides being one of Lord Sutch’s old rockin’ backing singers, bravely stood against David Cameron in 2010. Given the outcome of the election as a whole I’d have demanded a recount. Now that would have been an interesting coalition…

I’m less pleased with this shot – the moment the curtain come off the plaque itself – it was all taking a long time so I quietly ordered myself a Full English hoping to dry off a bit after the journey. I was just about to tuck in when Bri came charging in saying ‘You’re missing it all you wanker,’ and, thanks to Bri’s kindly warning I just about legged it outside in time but it’s not a good shot:

Thing is, it was good of Bri to warn me and everything, but I sort of wish he hadn’t ’cause I’d managed to get myself a seat opposite this fantastic looking bird. Not rockin’ of course, but well, I mean equal opportunities and all that. Girls don’t have to be rockin’ to be hot. I sneaked a shot of her when she was looking out of the window:


Then of course, Bri calls me outside, and by the time the Mayor’s done his speech and uncovered the plaque I’ve got soddin’ soaked, the bird’s finished her tea and disappeared, some hairy-arsed biker’s taken her place and my beans have all gone claggy. Nice one, Bri.

Anyway – here’s the plaque:

Musician, Politician and Fun Raiser.

Yeah. A fitting tribute to a misunderstood man. Edwardian Vic says he was a good bloke, maybe a bit sad in later years, but always a laugh when he and the Edwardian Biker Brotherhood used to raise cash for Good Causes.

Them Monster Ravers are alright. I might even stand myself,  if they’d agree to making Eddie Cochran Day a bank holiday as part of their official manifesto After all, they need blokes like me and Lord Toby Jug:

And at least their selection process is fair – all they ask is that you remember “We are loonies not nutters.”  Which is more than most parties can say.

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